Unsolicited Banter.

Here’s a quick work-related rant regarding patient entitlement..

Don’t walk into MY office (yes, its mine) and tell me to shut off the “noise”… it isn’t noise, its Magic 106.7 - a radio station that has prided itself on lyrics that won’t embarrass you in front of your kids, and has given the public radio legends, such as Gay Vernon and David Allan Bouche - so no, I’d rather not turn down the “noise”.

Another thing, patrons of the office: If there’s a window open, its because I’m warm.  Please don’t walk in, and without even greeting me, exclaim “Oh MY! its cold in here!”  I don’t know how to respond to that, other than “Oh yeah…” and then feel obligated to warm you up.  You’ll be here for 20 minutes, 30 tops, please suck it up… I have to sit here all day, and I’m rather cranky when I start to sweat. 

Other than those 2 bugaboos, please, enjoy your time here.

So as most of you kow— and if you didn’t, I’m sure I had no hesitation in letting you know— yesterday was my 25th birthday.  The dreaded quarter century!  Despite the beginning of my body’s slow transformation from spritely, young and vibrant to old and decrepit, I’m dealing with it quite well.  I have entered into my mid-twenties with a positive attitude, and I have decided to start focusing fully on myself for once.  But this post isn’t about some Lifetime movie, coming of age epiphany I’ve experienced in turning the big 2-5.  This post is about the more important topic of my first live band experience with karaoke.

I chose my celebration venue last night based on my undying devotion to the art of karaoke.  I have spent the last 2 weeks stressing out because I had a cold, which led to the severe loss of my voice, which was throwing a real wrench into the plans for my approaching birthday celebrations.  Never fear though (and God truly works in mysterious ways) I regained my voice, thus insuring that my instrument would be in working order for the big night.  Much to my surprise though, the karaoke I have been accustomed to in previous endeavors, was replaced by live band karaoke. So for the first time, Brianne Mosher had a band backing her up in such hits as “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay”, “Billie Jean”, “You Oughta Know” and “Wanted Dead or Alive”.  I was a rock star, despite the unnerving feeling that my fellow bandmates were getting sick of me… in a single night I managed to form and destroy my very first band.  They kind of let the fame go to their head and lost sight of the real reason we do what we do.  I had to let them go at the end of the night.  I did have a blast, but I’ve made the executive decision that I may be too much for a band to handle, and a future as a solo artist may be better suited for my karaoke needs, as well as for my fans. 

In honor of this holiday, I have chosen to celebrate the fact that for the first time in God knows how long, I not only purchased a halloween costume, but it was also stereotypically skanky.  This is is big for someone such as myself, who by no means can pull off a skanky costume, nor can I take myself seriously in one.  (Insert solicitation for compliments — kidding)  

Naturally, I chose to dress a skanky rodent - one generally associated with trash cans and rabies - to somehow maintain the balance of funny costume vs. “I want everyone to look at my ass’ costume.  The added bonus of slugging beers all night was also to ensure no one fell too hard for my goddess-like appeal.   In all honesty, however much I despise girls who seriously think they’re hot shit on halloween, it was fun to play dress up for the night and be a “risky raccoon”… one of the top 5 animals associated with sexiness, I might add.  

I’ll keep this short since there will probably be trick-or-treaters at my door soon, and I have some bud lights to hand out (again, kidding… or am I?).  To sum this up, Halloween is an awesome excuse to be as ridiculous as possible, so throw on a sparkly glove, put on your Thriller record, and zombie dance the shit out of the night - because despite the inclimate weather, it really is one of the most fun holidays (other than my own day of birth) in the books - ENJOY.  

gaywrites:

Allan Hubley, a city councilor in Ottawa and father of Jamie Hubley, the 15-year-old who committed suicide this weekend, has released a statement about his son’s death. Read it at the link above. 

We will not say that the bullying was the only reason for James’s decision to take his own life but it was definitely a factor. As his family and friends or even if you never met him but want to help, we must do whatever we can to wipe out bullying for any reason in our society and especially in our schools. Young people are very vulnerable and have enough pressures in life to have to deal with aside from the stress of being bullied. My family’s wish is that no more families have to suffer the unbearable pain of losing a child. No child should have to deal with depression or feel hated because of their beliefs – that is not the Canadian way of treating others.

Bullying doesn’t always take the form of physical violence. Especially today with cyber bullying on the Internet, children often feel there is no safe place to go; even when they are at home they can still be victims. Earlier I mentioned his posters being taken down. Many friends have offered to stand by the posters to ensure children that may want to meet and talk about issues that don’t harm others will be given the chance to do so. The school has made a promise to me that they will ensure the posters are protected. We hope from our tragedy others will become more active in stopping this cruelty towards children.

Heartbreaking. 

Have any of you seen those Bernie and Phyl’s furniture commericials?  If you live in Massachusetts, chances are you’ve seen them… and chances are you’ve overturned your own furniture trying to find the remote to change the channel.  Nonetheless, you probably know what I’m talking about when I say “Shhhh, don’t tell Bernie”.  Those ads where they sell entire rooms of furniture for low, low prices, and for whatever reason, none of us can tell Bernie about it.  Why not?  I think Bernie kind of has a right to know - hell, he’s earned the right to know.  I don’t know the whole back story, but as the first androgenous name in the store’s title, Bernie should probably be in the know on what his furniture’s selling for these days.  Settle down, Phyl and troop of weird-looking kids, daddy’s running this show. 

Speaking of daddy running the show - is that what you’re afraid of, Phyl?  Do you and your offspring want to keep this little secret between us because you’re afraid of Bernie?  Is Bernie an abusive husband/father/co-owner?  Let’s be honest, I’d be abusive if my commercials were that bad, but mostly if my children looked like exact carbon copies of the combination of my wife and I’s DNA.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the collective success of that family, but those kids are a little fugly.  Shhh…. don’t tell Bernie… 

Rascal Flatts

I hate to be that person that rants about something, rather than just brush it off, but today is the exception to my rule.  Naturally, Mondays are terrible - I don’t care if you awake to birds carrying your bathrobe over to you, Snow White style, its probably still going to be a sucky day.  However, I encountered the work day from hell today, and I’m very surprised I kept my job.

I work for a doctor’s office, and as much as you could argue otherwise, “the patient is always right”.  My biggest question is where did people get the idea that being rude will get you anywhere?  If I’m trying to help you, and I tell you I’m doing the best I can, please don’t hang up on me… you’ve just ruined any chance of me solving your problem in a timely manner.  If you don’t fully understand why we adhere to a certain policy, don’t question it - you alone are not going to change anything (with all due respect) so please just fake a smile—thats what I’m doing— and kindly take your seat.

Rude people make my skin crawl.  Please don’t give me attitude, I’m literally probably the nicest person you will encounter, and I take it as personal offense when someone is rude to me - thus leading to a mental shutdown.  If you’re unhappy with a situation, please do your darndest to word it in a way that does not make you sound like an arrogant snob, and you’ll probably be pretty pleased with the feedback you receive.

I pray everyday I don’t become one of those people… and that, folks, concludes my rant of the day.

The Sing-Off starts up tonight!

 In the past year and some change I feel as though a lot has happened in my life.  Nothing super significant or life altering, but I feel I’ve acquired some wisdom in this time that has helped shape me into the person I have the potential of becoming.  Because of this, I feel it is my duty to share some tips I’ve picked up along the way, whether it is solicited or not.

1.  Your first love is generally not your last.  All these feelings of “OMG I can’t live anymore… I’ll never move on” have more to do with a fear of change than actual feelings.  I guarantee if you think about it, you’re not nearly as heartbroken as your emo facebook status indicates.  There’s a reason the relationship didn’t work out, and 9 times out of 10, you’re better off.  There are other fish in the sea.  Another bus will show up, or whatever that saying is.  Chin up, people.  It’s time to MOVE ON!

2.  People always say never go to bed mad.  Well, I say never go to bed hungry.  I promise you won’t be able to fall asleep and/or you’ll wake up pretty pissed off, which is a horrible way to start any day.   Treat yourself to a midnight snack, you knuckleheads.

3.  If you’re not comfortable in heels, ladies, don’t wear them!  People aren’t going to judge you for lack of height.  They will, however, judge you when you fall flat on your face, an event resulting in significant swelling and cuts that look dangerously similar to a herpes outbreak.  It may seem like a good idea on New Year’s Eve, but then midnight comes and goes, and you find yourself face down on the streets of Boston because you tripped in your heels.  Fast forward to the rest of the week where chewing food becomes a chore and you have a constant need to explain your face to everyone you encounter, and you start to second guess your brilliant idea to wear said heels.  Comfort is way sexier than a swollen mouth covered in what looks to be a STD any day of the week.

4.  Never let work get in the way of your social life.  But be wise enough to not let your social life affect your work. Memories are more valuable than money. This one is self-explanatory.  I’m not getting any younger; I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

5.  You’d think this next tip would be a given, yet I had to learn the hard way.  Never leave anything of value in the front seat of your car when you are not in attendance.  Just because you go to a gym in Stoneham doesn’t mean there aren’t douche bags on the prowl.  Let’s just say the pain in my glutes was far less than the pain of having my brand new car’s window smashed and my sister’s $400 purse with all my belongings in it stolen.  Bastards even took a CVS bag containing Venus razors and a Tide stick to-go (shameless product placement), you idiots really couldn’t even leave me those?  Anyways, lesson learned.  I now walk around like a bag lady every time I make any kind of stop involving me getting out of my car. Be smart.

6.  If you can make YOURSELF laugh, then you’re all set in life.  I can literally keep myself entertained all day.  You make enough people around you uncomfortable with your own amusement and they’ll eventually follow in suit and laugh with you.  So keep telling those corny and/or dirty jokes, you’re bound to get a laugh eventually.. even if its out of pity.  I’ll take it.

7.   Never trust a dog. I don’t care how cute they are; they will chew your brand new shoes and fart in your bed.  Man’s best friend my ass.  Cats would never do that.

8.  Be the BIGGER PERSON!  If there’s anything that is sacred in my life, it is the fact that I have learned to become that kind of person.  As hard as it can be sometimes to ignore the stupid people in your life, it is the best thing you can do.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had to bite my tongue on numerous occasions, and please don’t mistake my silence for a lack of a good comeback, because you can be sure I have a really awesome one that I’m letting go to waste in order to be the bigger person.  That’s not an easy task to accomplish.  It also doesn’t hurt that I’m a coward when it comes to confrontation, but I can’t say I’m mad about that.  Rise above the crap, and kill ‘em with kindness – it’s the best way to annoy someone.

9.  Be open to meeting new acquaintances and never close yourself off from new people, but always be aware of the people in your life that truly matter.  Don’t let new faces overshadow the people that have been there for you through the ups and downs; who have seen you at your worst and cheered you on at your best.  In the end, it will be those family members or friends that will matter in the grand scheme of things.

10.  Stand up for yourself!  As cliché as it sounds, it really is the most important piece of advice I have picked up in the past year and a half.  I would most definitely describe myself as a “people pleaser”, but recently have started to become more concerned with my own well-being.  I’ve by no means become self-absorbed, but a little selfishness isn’t a terrible thing, especially when a lack of it compromises your happiness.  Stop putting up with the BS of others.  If it isn’t working, walk away.  Events in my life have taught me life is too short to just settle for anything, and it has made me feel better about the situation I’m currently in.

So there you have it – my own Ten Commandments.  The little tid-bits that have made the past year eye-opening.  I can proudly say I’m on my way to becoming an adult—or at least a version of myself I feel good about.  So here’s to the next year and some change.  Whatever it may bring, I at least feel somewhat prepared for it.

its finally here…. SHARK WEEK!